I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
