let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Can I color on your dick again?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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