so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
