Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
