garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
