I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
