I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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