Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
