I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
