I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
