It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Randomize
