I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Someone shit on the floor
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
