he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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