I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
