whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
