And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
