My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
