I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
