Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Two words: blizzard sex
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
