my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
