The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
