it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
