Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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