you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
