I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
