Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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