it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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