At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
