The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
