Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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