im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
