she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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