He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Floor bacon is actually really good
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
