apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
