she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
