I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
