I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
