The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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