Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
