You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
