Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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