So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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