Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
