lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
