my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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