i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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