U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
