Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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