dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Im part way to drunk.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
