She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
